The little things

Once again, i've found myself so busy that although i've attempted three times to blog in the past 2 weeks, i haven't found enough time. Although i don't have enough time right now, i need to write because it relaxes me.

I first want to talk about the Junior Exploration. The Junior Exploration  was an event held at Spring Arbor University which is located in Spring Arbor; about 30 minutes away from Jackson.


When i arrived, it was still pouring out, and we went into the student center which i learned to be one of my favorite places at SAU. It's where so many things are held. A room dedicated strictly to ping-pong, dining commons, the  lounge room with a huge screen that's commonly used for karaoke nights, and to watch sports events, the "book store" which had nothing relevant to books, and ever a sort of little food market. It was SO cool inside!

When we got there, we did icebreaker games and played a huge version of family feud then we hung out with each other  After a few hours, we met our room hosts. Mine were Courtney and Danielle, both freshman. Courtney was majoring in social work, and Danielle was majoring in art and minoring in youth ministry. They talked about how their first year was going, and then they asked us what we wanted to do, Jenny the girl i was paired with and i weren't too sure what we wanted to do, so we took a tour of the dorm building we were in which is Muffit. Not the nicest dorm for girls, it's actually the oldest but it had a lot of character. After that we played Apples to Apples and watched a movie. Then around midnight we walked to the McDonalds across the street and walked through the drive through to get icees. From my experience at Burger King, when people come through the drive thru not in a car, which HAS happened, we can't give them business  But this McDonalds does, especially for the students. It was soooo much fun, even though it was still pouring and we were soaking wet.

After that, we got back to the dorms and just hung around and eventually fell asleep. We were up around 7:20 to go to the dining commons to get breakfast, and then we had free time which Danielle, Jenny and i just listened to music in the dorm and played Monopoly Deal. Then, after about an hour, we went to an auditorium to hear from the President, Vice President and some Admissions Counselors. Some of the things they brought up, were really helpful.  Spring Arbor has a 90% placement plan for graduates which i believe is AWESOME. Two of my personal favorite parts about Spring Arbor, is first off Core. As freshman, you get a group of 15 other students, one professor and an older student. It reminds me of Link Crew. With this Core group, you are guaranteed 15 friends walking onto campus. During your first semester, you and your core group go on a camping trip. The first night, you are in cabins and just have fun, and then the second night, you're brought to the middle of the woods and have to "survive" with only a few tarps, rope, and potatoes. Then there's the famous catch a chicken, chop it's head off, pluck it, cook it and eat it. The core group is a support system for SAU, and that you can turn to if you need anything. The second thing that i find interesting is during the second semester of your senior year, it's required that you go on a mission trip for a minimum of 3 weeks. Those three weeks, you can choose to go various places around the world.

After hearing from the president, we went to chapel  That's another thing i love about SAU- chapel  It's required two times a week, but it was one of the best church services i've ever been too. Most know, that last summer i went to South Dakota and Colorado with my youth group. While there, i attended Desperation- where i first met Kari Jobe, where i admitted to my depression, and where i finally accepted the death of my dad. I still to this day, will say that Desperation 2012 was among one of THE most amazing things i've ever done. The hardest part about Desperation was leaving. I learned while there, that it was SO easy to connect with God. The hard part was leaving, because i wasn't worshiping for 3 hours straight daily, i wasn't hearing amazing messages from God. I'm not sure if this makes much sense, but while there it was easy to have a relationship because of the circumstance. When i got home, life went on. I lost the feeling. While at chapel at Spring Arbor, i felt like i was back at Desperation. It was a really good feeling, and imagine being able to go there at least two times a week. It would be like a never ending Desperation which would be AMAZING. The thing that i found most interesting about chapel at Spring Arbor, was that there was no same pastor pretty much. Each service, was someone knew who traveled to talk to us. It reminded me of my home church because it wasn't one of those churches that you would get the death glare if you weren't dressed up... it was like my church... the dress code is that you wear clothes. Meaning that you wore what ever you wanted too to church. Which i personally think is nice. A lot of kids, like my best friend Sarah, HATE dressing up, and that's one of the things keeping her back from church. She likes my church because she doesn't have to get all glammed up. The music was awesome and the speaker was too. I can definitely see myself there(:

After chapel, we went to class. The class i took, was a Spanish Literature class. At first i was very intimidated because we were just walking into a random class. But it wasn't long before i felt comfortable and felt right at place. They were talking about "leyendas" which i learned this semester was a legend. The legend was about a pregnant women who was giving birth to twins in the early times, and the village people kept giving her herbs to take care of the pain (like that would work lol) and in the end she gave birth and dedicated her life over to God and became some sort of nun. It was just really fun, and one of my dorm hosts best friend Abby was in there so i at least knew her.

After Spanish class, i went for a meeting with the professor in education. He first started his speech by stating that he was the oldest teacher at Spring Arbor but that he wasn't out of time yet. It was really funny, and i enjoyed hearing about his experiences a lot. He told us all about the curriculum there and told us about how most schools don't have an education major, instead they have an education certification. But SAU offers a major in education. There education program is very similar to the teacher cadet class i take right now. Your first semester you take EDU101 which puts you in the school immediately to get a feel for teaching to assure that it's the right thing for you before you decide to spend money. Then he talked about J term, the 3 week break between semesters. There's an 'education credit' you can receive during that time.  But not on campus. You travel with other students down to Florida. (Florida in the middle of January instead Michigan, yup already there..) While there, you visit two different locations. Going to several different schools in that area. There was a student who tagged along with him and gave us a few examples. She just went this past January and said they went to the best school districts in that county, the worst. The poorest populated area, and richest. Blind, deaf and special education schools, and different schools with high levels of different cultures. It just sounds cool all around.

My time there was amazing, and i;m really looking forward to learning more about the school.

After that, i went to my grandparents just for a quick visit. It wasn't the best time I've ever been there but it was nice to spend time with them.

Then i came home, back to school and daily business.

It's Sunday night, but i wanted to write about yesterday also. Yesterday was one year since my dad's passed away. I woke up early and excited but it didn't take long before i sat on my bed tearing up. Then i sucked it up and just got too busy getting ready. It was an awesome day. Sarah and i went out to the NB pier really early and one of the men that was also there recognized me, and asked about my dad. When he asked, Sarah came up behind me and said it for me, which made it a lot easier. We were there for a while and then Andre came. We were there for hours and ended up going two other places. We were out there for 12 hours. It was AWESOME.

Then today, i went to church early for our "serve our world day". Something i noticed a lot today, was that our spirits were really low due to recent news. Ian and i were watching the kids while all the adults in our church went out and served at various places. When that was all done, we met at the NB park and had a picnic that the community was invited too.  We got rained out early so i ended up going to Sarah's house and watched princess movies in her basement for hours lol. Then, because today's my twin cousins 38th birthday,  we went to a Japanese restaurant. It was one of those cool ones where your table has the grill in the middle of it and stuff like that. The best part was the sushi there was AMAZING. Second best sushi I've ever had, Maryland was where the best stuffs at!

This weekend has been amazing, and I'm really glad for that(:

I'm not looking forward too much to the fact that i have to work again in almost a week starting tomorrow, but it'll be alright(:

Just a bunch of random pictures from the Boat Regatta!

                                                           Some pics from SAU! (:

Authenticity

Like tonight, I often wonder if I'm the only teenager that goes into great depth of the things going inside my mind. It's 11:30 on Sunday night and I can't seem to turn my brain off. I spent most of today in bed with a heating pad and book so I'm not too worried about not getting enough rest for tomorrow, I'm just simply awake. Like most nights, I'm quiet. Although I may not be physically talking, my inner voice is talking a mile per minute. About everything imaginable. About my purpose in life, about the choices people make in life, about heaven and hell, God, my friends, family and things that are going on in this world. I don't elaborate on these thoughts to anyone but myself really. I'm not sure why, I just find comfort in digging deeper into so many things.

I hate going to bed. Hate it. Because unless I'm exhausted, it takes me a while to actually fall asleep. So during that time I either read which only takes my mind of things for a little while, or I lay there and think. It really isn't something I've thought much about until tonight. I think I've spent a good 3 hours in my room today without saying a word. Granted, I was trying to rest for most of that time, but I didn't say a word. In the mornings, I wake up, and until I'm with my friends at school, I don't talk. That's about an hour and a half. But oddly, it makes me so relaxed.

Today at church, was one of those days where you can't help but want to replay it over and over again in your head. It was amazing. I got to church early as usual, and was surprised to see my friend Ian there earlier than normal.

Ian called me Saturday night at 2:30 am. Of course I was sleeping but when I got up In the middle of the night to use the bathroom I saw it and was freaking out so I called him back a few times but he didn't answer. So I texted him saying I was awake but I wasn't sure how much longer I would be. He ended up texting me back about 15 minutes later but I had already fallen back asleep. Ian was at a party that he didn't want to be at. For most people who don't know Ian, they know that he and I are spitting images with our morals. It's nice to be able to openly talk with someone who I'm so close to about them. He called me because he was stressed out. Ian doesn't put himself I those types of predicaments because he feels uncomfortable so when he told me he was going to a party, I didn't think anything of it because he wouldn't go if it's not something he approved in. He went not knowing all that would happen. Just like the typical college party there's stupid decisions being made. He texted me a really long story throughout the night. He felt 100% uncomfortable but he didn't just want to leave and be the laughing stock of the night, he wanted for stay there- sober. And thankfully he did that.

We talked about the party for about 45 minutes. He expressed how he was worried this meant every time they hung out this would be the end result. He wanted to talk to his friends about it it was nervous. After talking with him it just made me so much more thankful for him; and all of his morals. If he didn't have then then instead of a call at 2:30 am for someone to confide in, he could be calling me at 2:30am drunk.

During the church service, we were singing a song that I really liked. It was really quiet and then a few minutes late, Ian's mom came into the service. Seeing her always puts me in a really good mood. We were at the chorus of the song and just like normal, his moms voice was overpowering everyone else's in the room. It makes me smile thinking about it, because she will even admit she's tone deaf. Ian and his family are from the Philippians.. His mom was born there and still has an accent from there. She was actually a doctor there. I'm not sure when she came to America, but I know it wasn't losing before she met Ian's father, who is in the military. Long story short, 18 years ago he was born and 3 years later his younger brother Noa was born. One of the things I love most about his mom, is that she goes back to the Philippians on a regular basis and does volunteer work. It takes her away from her family for a while, but it's cool to hear the stories. For the past few years, she's been considering adopting 2 of her family members. A niece, and nephew I believe they are both around 6-9years old. Her family isn't able to provide much care for them, so she's been trying to bring them to America to provide a better life for them. It's perfect timing too- Ian commutes right now, but after his second year at Wayne he's transferring to U of M so he'll be living on Campus. In one way it's awesome because him moving away from home will open up more space for the kids, but in another; it means he's leaving soon.

I started this blog wanting to write about church, and now it's almost 1 am and I'm still not tired. So, church this week. Powerful, simply powerful.

I've been so busy with school, work, family and just normal teenage stuff that i haven't taken the time to look at my relationship with God. But very few people know that. Because i wear a mask when I'm in front of majority of people.

That's what we learned about at church this week. Masks. We all wear masks, at various times and they appear in various forms, but we all wear them whether we know it or not.  The mask I'm most familiar with is the one i wear when people ask me how I'm doing. Because most of the time i say I'm good, okay or tired. But I'm not. I'm exhausted, sad, and stressed. I wear a mask at work, i don't want people to know about my life so i wear a mask. When i go to church, i wear a mask. I hate to admit it, but i do. I sing the songs, i bow my head in prayer, i try to gain something from my pastors sermon, but really the relationship i once had with God. The one that would get me through anything. Over the weekend, i went to my dashboard of my blog and went to my stats. They show me how many daily looks at my blog i get,and the most popular blogs. Lately, people have been going back and looking at my blogs from 2011 and early 2012. I saw some titles i don't even remember reading and i re-read them. I'm amazed at how in love with God i really was. And that- was real. There was no mask. Now, the mask is a permanent thing keeping me from loosing all the sanity i have left.

Church just really hit me this week. Because EVERYONE wears these masks. Even my pastor. I took notes on my phone during the service and some of the things i wrote down were; Instead of being perfect, you need to be willing to be you; who you were made to be. Choosing to be real rather than be liked.

He went over the meaning of authenticity; the practice of letting go of who we think we should be in order to embrace who we actually are. We learned that be authentic would be one of the most courageous battles we will have to face. It takes courage to break away and to take a risk of something you may fail at. It takes courage to ask for help.

My pastor then began talking about the excuses; " If you only knew the things that have been done to me..." "If you only knew the things I've done...." "If you only knew what i think about"

That made me think of myself. For a long time i was afraid that i wasn't good enough because of m depression. Because i had thoughts of suicide many time in my life, and because sometimes i was just sad- with no apparent reason.

He said something... my pastor... that changed everything.

"Jesus knows"

Psalm 139: 1-4

You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
² You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.
⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely.


I highlighted the part that makes complete sense to me. God KNOWS every thought I've ever had. He knows everything about me, and I've know that for a really long time. But i never understood it like i do now. God has dug deep inside of me since i was in my own mothers womb. And he STILL loves me anyways. Still. With every mistake, thought, every bad decision he knows. There's nothing i can hide from him and although at one end of that it makes me happy because i don't feel like I'm hiding from him, the other part of me is confused and scared.

I really needed this message. Because so often i put on this mask to hide who i am. I put this mask on to where people i talk to, work with and spend time with would have no idea i suffer with depression.

Behind  every perfect mask, is a perfectly messed up life- and messes, are Gods specialty.It's OKAY to not be okay. The best impression you can make is to just be you. Some wear these masks to make themselves seem better than they are, and to feel loved and cared for- and although it feels good to have that security, if we depend on that- we are setting ourselves up for failure.

I, in no way shape or form cannot explain the message the way my pastor did, and I'm not even sure if it make sense to the people who are reading it, but it makes sense to me. Complete sense. And it makes me feel happy.

I wasn't expecting this month to be this way. To find happiness. I thought it would just be a big mess that i would try to hide from. Besides a little unnecessary drama, it's been a really good month so far, and this Thursday, I'm leaving after school to go to an overnight college visit at Spring Arbor University. I'm really excited too! The more i look at all of what SAU has to offer, the more i fall in love with it.

I just wanted to share this too. My depression is something that I've had my ups and downs with. But looking at the good moments in the past few months, i've never been so happy because i'm still here to experience them. "Sarah Day" was a huge success, and as Abby recovers and i see the stress being lifted off of Sarah, and as Dwaynes leg starts to heal, and as our junior year comes to a close and we make plans to go on trips, and plans to spend unlimited time together, and i make more and more time with Ian- it's just a reassurance that every things okay. I'm GLAD to be here and witness these many mild stones with my friends. Like i told Sarah after spring break. I'm SO thankful for Kayla calling the cops on that night because i have NO idea what would have happened. Instead- i'm here enjoying this suckish time on earth.

It's the first time in a long time that i can actually say- I'm okay. And i mean that with everything in me.

Memories

Right now, i'm in my second hour class and we're writing college entrance essay about a story of a lesson we learned. It took me a long time to think of one, but i decided to write about the lessons i learn from fishing. For some reason, fishing always seems to solve my problems and makes everything work out.   I was thinking and thinking about the first time i can remember going fishing. It was soooo long ago. Then it hit me, i haven't lived in Chesterfield all my life. I lived in Pontiac and Lake Orion. I lived there for a little over 11years. I went fishing in that town before i did at the usual New Baltimore Pier The hardest part i think, about writing anything about my past, is that i have tried so hard for a while now to block my childhood as a whole. Looking back at it, not only disgusts me, but makes me bitter and angry.

I lived there for so long that most of my first memories are there. I can see Oxford in my head right now, literally. There was this road, one that was very similar to Gratiot here because it took you to everything you needed. On this road, when you would first pull out of my neighborhood, you would drive a few miles and on the left there was this little flower shop.

The flower shop. A lot of memories here. There was a time when my dad wanted to get a plant for someone and we went in there and i was amazed at how pretty it was inside. As a kid i always was fascinated with those cool little water fountains that weren't big but people put in their house for relaxation and i remember that the flower shop had those. It's really weird because i'm closing my eyes and getting this  birds eye view of it all over again. There was also this other time when it was just my mom, my friend Dean and i. We were driving down the road i mentioned earlier, i don't remember where we were headed but we were driving and out of no where the tire blew, my mom wasn't wearing a seat belt and hit her head. She got us somehow to the side of the road but she was not feeling okay. I do remember her thinking she was going to pass out and asking us to get help. I was maybe 8 around the time and wasn't sure what to do. Somehow the flower shop must have stood out to me because that's where i went. It sucks because i can't remember everything but i know Dean and I crossed the street to the flower shop, and told the lady what happened and she called the cops and when we looked back outside, there was a white van pulling up behind my moms car. The lady inside of the flower shop went out with us to find out who it was and it turned out to be people that worked for some kind of car business and as they claimed they wanted to do a "good deed" for the day and without charging her fixed the tire. They went to work as the ambulance pulled up. Cellphones weren't really a big thing then, so while this was going on no one was aware. We went to the hospital and my mom was put in a room and about an hour later my dad came in. He wanted to talk with my mom alone or something so somehow Dean and i ended up playing around on the elevators and we were on a floor. I can't remember much other than feeling like i was going to "catch" cancer from being there.

Now, I'm seeing myself back on that road. There's this $5 car wash that was my dads favorite car wash around. I always enjoyed seeing the sign because it was so bright and had the coolest lights. We're driving through downtown Oxford now, passing my old doctor. Dr. Bob- strange that i remember that. My mom had the biggest crush on him, and he was really short. Now, we're passing my pre-school. It was a Baptist Church. I remember my teacher "Mrs. Tow" (pronounced toe). I also remember the inside play ground they had we always used to play this fishing game. It's really cool because for my preschool picture, i have a picture of my whole class on it. I remember Angela, not much but i know she was my best friend.

On the left is the little ice cream parlor my dad took me and my sisters too when my grandpa died. Right across from that is the movie theater. Then right past there, on the left hand side was this little old cony island my dad and i would go and get biscuits and gravy at every once in a while. And next door, was an animal shop that had a talking parrot. Then, if you keep going down that street, and turn right, you'll almost be there. To the place that I've seem to forgotten about. You'll be at the beach.

It's not that big, but it's not small. One the opposite side of the lake, people live in houses, and on the far left there is a playground. On the far right, most people wouldn't go that way because it's all shrub. The waters deep and there are snacks, and other strange creatures. On the right, there was also a path, one that i was very familiar with. It was the path my dad took every time because that led to his fishing spot.

This park, has so many tiny details and i can't fully wrap my head around it. I remember there is this white building. The material it was made out of was strange. It was really rough and something like you would see in a warm state. I remember they had these stairs and to get to the bathroom you had to go up them. They were the type of stairs that had holes in between each one. Then there was this tree, that we would always put our stuff at so we could either go fishing or go in the water.

This beach, i can remember actually holds good memories of my mom and i. And it's really nice to have those. But at the same time part of me wants to call my mom and talk to her about them.

When my mom was born, she had a lot of physical handicaps. She was born with only 4 toes on each foot, and she was cross eyed. As she got older, more handicaps came out. She had to wear braces on her legs and arms to keep them straight. So she didn't learn to walk until she was a little older than the usual child. Her gross motor skills development was always behind, so she never actually learned how to swim and one time when she was in her early teens, my grandma, grandpa, mom and two uncles were in Florida and my mom got caught in a ripe tide ( i think that's what she called it) and my grandpa got her out of it fortunately. Ever since then, she has been terrified of swimming and going on boats.

Saying that, whenever we went to the beach, my mom never came in. Until one day. I don't remember much of the story, but i remember she learned how to swim. It was one of the happiest moments i can remember with her, and that- makes me really happy.

My mind is blown. It really is. I am so excited to face the next few days. I'm planning on spending them going through some of my old pictures and try to find some more memories.

Along with every good memory, I've come to notice i am starting to remember a few bad ones. But that's okay. It really is. Those bad one's have helped me become the person i am today.

This summer, I'm going back to where i came from. Back to all the places i' mentioned above, and to others that i don't have enough time to think about. It's giving me this feeling of happiness. Like this emptiness I've had for such a long time- is full once again.

This all happened with really good timing (:  I'm really glad i was able to experience this.

Carry On.

I. Love. Spring. Break. It's as simple as that. I love being able to wake up from birds chirping rather than an alarm. It guarantees that i can actually get a good amount of sleep, instead of the usual 5/6 hours i get during the normal week. And i love being able to spend unlimited times with my friends. Not having a certain time to be home, or for them to be home. Spring Break is just a nice break that allows most students (and hopefully teachers!) A well needed rest.

Today (Tuesday) was probably my favorite day so far. Because i had the chance to go fishing(:   I was up early like usual getting everything together. I love that place so much. As i was walking towards the end of the dock,i felt the rays of sun on my skin and just smiled. As i looked up, i envisioned my dad sitting there in his wheelchair with his baby blue umbrella and fishing hat. It made me happy to think about. I was there for a little while but nothing seemed to slow the wind down so i came in about an hour before i was planning too. While packing up, i layed my pole down on the fence still in the water and put everything together. I went to go reel in my hook when all of a sudden, it felt stuck. I thought to myself, oh great so i started jerking it around a little to see if i could get it loose. Then it became easier to get. Then i noticed, i had something on my line. But i had absolutely NO idea what it was. It appeared to look almost like a baby alligator which made me stand in shock at what to do. It was still halfway in the water and i was just looking at it. Then i noticed the rush of kids running down the dock to see what it would be. They started yelling; it's a salamander! And taking a bunch of pictures. I just stared at it freaked out because it looked so gross. So i started reeling it in slowly and when it was about 2 feet higher i noticed something that changed everything. This "mud puppy" i later discovered it was called, was about a foot long, had a tail and four short legs, and it also; had teeth. Seeing the teeth made my decision clear, i was not going to reel this thing in any more. Against the want of the kids, i took my dads pocket knife and cut the line letting it splash back into the water. I don't regret my decision at all lol. It was long, slimy and IT HAD TEETH!!! Hahahaha, the teeth alone were enough for me! I did luckily get a picture of it, which i will most certainly post below(:   When i solved that catastrophe i ended up discovering it was a "mud puppy" Pretty much an over grown Salamander, that lived in the water. It had paws and was capable of living on land, but they don't they are bottom feeders.

After, i came over to my cousins to spend time with them because their mom; Nicole has been doing a lot of clinical and no one was able to watch the kids. So i'm pretty much here for the rest of break, well at least at nights and early mornings. I love spending time with Rylee (:
And spending time with her just puts me in a good mood.

Easter.... most people know it's one of my favorite holidays simply because of the message. This Easter was weird though because i woke up thinking about where i was a year ago in my religion and where i am now. The place i am in right now, is like a ledge. Don't get me wrong, i believe in God still, but i just don't get why i'm put in the trials i have been through sometimes. Before this year, i would have sucked up the pain and tried my best to turn in over to God. All my pain, tears and hurt. I would have prayed for everything imaginable, for the people who hurt me, and people i didn't know. Now.... the last time i prayed was before my ACT, and it wasn't even a real prayer. It was more of a bargain. I remember telling myself that if God got me through the test with a score that i needed, i would do everything possible to get re-involved with church. Well, that didn't happen, either of those. The last time i actually opened up my Bible, well i can't even remember to be honest. I can though, remember the last time i felt God was trying to connect to me through a message at church, or a song. And it was Easter Sunday. It's the first time i've cried during one of our songs in a really long time. It felt nice, but at the same time, i was confused on how i could be touched by a song when i hadn't been a good Christian, let alone a good person recently.

I've been finding myself re-watching things on Vimeo, that involve out church. It makes my heart ache but sometimes it makes me feel better. I like watching our most recent baptism video. Because i remeber that feeling, of being submerged in the water and being lifted out. It was one of the proudest moments in my life, and i love watching the video to see people that go to my church endure the same feeling. We were also introduced to a new promotion video for our church on Easter, i love this video also, so i decided to post the link to them both below.
I ended up working on Easter after church and it was probably the funniest day at work in my life because we literally had no cars.

I actually fell asleep while writing all of that, and it's Wednesday night now, and i just got off of work. Rylee's snuggled up right next to me watching one of her movies and every things perfect right now. This is what i'm going to miss about spring break, is Rylee. I've spent so much time with her, and i don't want to leave. She may wake me up at 7:30, and keep me up until midnight playing either Barbies or Just Dance, but i love every second of it<3

This week, has been really great. Monday, i was working and i saw this older lady that i've seen quite a few times. I've talked to some people about her, because she reminds me of my grandma. My grandma was 16 when she was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. For people who don't understand what it does to you, it pretty much deforms your body. Her fingers were going every which way, and her legs were narrow and her back crooked. This lady was very similar. She lives at the drug infested apartments on the corner of 23 mile and Gratiot, right next to where i work. I see this lady leave her home, and about an hour later return with a bag from Arbys, White Castle or another fast food restaurant on our block. She occasionally comes into Bk to get something also. Monday i was having a really bad day, and i was sad and frustrated at the same time. I saw her leave her house and head towards White Castle which is right next to us. Business was slow and i went to the front cash register to buy a $25 gift card for Burger King, i then asked my manager Sandys permission to run it out to her when i saw her. She was confused at first but told me i could, so when i saw her even though i was a little nervous i walked slowly towards her introducing myself at first so she wasn't frightened and gave it to her, and her shocked look on her face, and sweet response made my day end so much better. It's the littlest things i've noticed that cane change the outcome of my day(:

I'm especially excited for Friday. It's as my friends and i have been calling it "S day". It's the day that my best friends little sister goes in for surgery. And it's going to be a day filled of things for us and a few other friends to do together. It's starting at 10:40 am we're all going to see "Spring breakers" at the movie and then going to PF Chang's for lunch, followed by shopping at Partridge Creek. I have to be at work at 5, so she's going to stay at P Creek with some friends and then at 10:30 when i get off work, i'm going to spend the night at her house! It's one of the things i've been looking forward to most because we've been getting a scavenger hunt ready. It's going to be nice to distract her from everything while at the same time i really hope Abbys surgery will be going well. When Abby was first born, 12 years ago they didn't think anything was wrong with her and then they started noticing things and they discovered the left hemisphere of her brain had not formed. Leaving her unable to actually walk, talk and do most things girls her age could do. She's the sweetest little thing and i love going over there when Sarahs watching her because we always put her in her wheelchair sitting up so she can laugh at how bad we are when we play Just Dance.

So far, it's been a really good week, and in some sort i miss school, but i'm in no rush to go back. I like being able to spend this time away with no homework, and no extra stress!

Here's the link to the baptism video; http://vimeo.com/59338201

And

Here's the link to the promotion video; http://vimeo.com/62713963