If it's pulling you down, simply let it go (:

It's around 12:30 am, and i can't fall asleep lol, so I'm gonna blog, because i literally have nothing better to do! (:   (So excuse me if some parts don't make sense, lol.)

Today was my last day at my grandparents. It wasn't the trip that i was really looking forward too- but it turned out to be fun. My original plan a few weeks ago, was that my cousin was going to drive in from Maryland to my grandparents house and we would hang out for a week, go ice skating, sight seeing (since she hasn't been to MI in a longggg time), purchase my first purity ring, and of course shop! Than i was going to come home in time for my 16th birthday, and celebrate it with all of my friends, work on homework here and there and relax the last few days of break and enjoy spending time with my grandma. But.... it didn't turn out that way at all. My uncle whom resides in Maryland, fell and broke his hip and he's in his late 80's and is the father to my cousin who was supposed to be traveling up here- so i couldn't blame her in the least for wanting to stay and take care of her dad. Than..... while i prepared to go ice-skating on my grandparents lake- it turned out that the lake was the farthest thing from frozen, and the most sight seeing i did was of the country hills and bowling alleys. I did thought buy my first purity ring- and even though my grandma is still confused on what it is- it's really special to me. I'm coming home tomorrow with the only plans that are final are my plans for new years eve.

Since I've been here for  week, with nothing really to do, I've thought about 2011, and all the hardships it brought. I replayed the whole year pointing out some really fun times and times when i felt like my world was falling apart. But i learned something really valuable while thinking about my past..... why think about it when it only brings sadness?

When i think of 2011, i don't want to think about the pain it put me through and the choices i had to make. I want to think of the things that made me stronger, and made me laugh and love life.

I was baptized on January 16th 2011. By far- that was one of the best days of my life. I went to a life altering camp in the middle of June 2011, i became a Godmother this past summer, i became a stronger Christian in the last 6 months, i finally started figuring out who i was as a person- AND- i actually started understanding math!! (I used to HATE algebra, but i actually understand geometry!!)

Those are the things that i want to recognize when the subject of 2011 pops up. I know that some people will argue with me and say, "don't forget your past, its what made you."  and i agree. I'm not letting go of my past- just the parts that continue to bring me down.

As Rascal Flatts sing in there song, "I'm moving on", I've been burdened with pain, trapped in the past for too long, I'm moving on"  and that's what I'm doing :)

Below is a song that i absolutely LOVE. Rascal Flatts, I'm moving on.

So, as i try and go to bed, considering it is now 1:30 am, i want to wish everyone a very happy new years, and my new years resolution- is that i will make the absolute best out of 2012, and let go of 2011.

This is amazing.

I was on Godvine.com watching various videos, and i read the description on this one, not knowing what to expect. During the video, i thought i was going to start balling.  This is exactly what i wish i could do when i get older. I've always said i've wanted to be a vet, but the past year has challenged me to look at other various careers. To do something like this; and to bring joy to all people who are hurting young and old, would be my dream job.  I am in awe of animals like Baxter. He inspires me to go after my dreams<3  (And plus he's super cute!!)

30 Things to stop Doing to Yourself

I recieved this in an email and really thought about it the last few days. This is so cool to realize that most of these things are 100% true!

So, here's a list of 30 things, that you should really stop doing to yourself :)  And i'm gonna try em'!

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Credit from: http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/ 

This video is awesome :)

This video, is called, what if Mary & Joseph had a facebook?  It was really cool to see the connection from way back then to now, on something that seems second nature to teenagers (including me!)- facebook! Lol.

Merry CHRISTmas! (:

It seems like forever since the last time I've written on here, but i couldn't resist posting about CHRIST mas, aka Jesus birthday! :) Lol.

So, yesterday, my family kept the annual tradition alive by all gathering at my house to celebrate Christmas one day early. It was really nice to have all the family together, but at the same time, it still doesn't feel like Christmas to me. I remember watching the faces of all my little cousins and nephew as they opened everything, filled with excitement, joy and anxiousness. They were celebrating a holiday, that they recognize for a time where, Santa comes down the chimney to give them toys, where there is a lot of food, and they get to go home with their car packed. But what really makes me feel like it's not Christmas, is because they don''t know the true meaning of it.

They don't know that Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins, that he rose again, and that still to this day, he is alive. They don't know the story of Jesus and how a young girl, who was engaged and a virgin, got pregnant by God. They don't know that hardships of Mary, Joseph and God.

Think about it, Mary was a teenager, who had never had sex, but what kind of feelings did Joseph have, when he found out Mary was pregnant, before the angel told him in his dream. How would you feel?  How would you feel, if this woman that you were getting married to, said she was pregnant, even though, you were both virgins? I know how i would feel, and it wouldn't be a good feeling. I would be angry, upset and think that they were lying.

I heard something at our Christmas service at church this week, my pastor said that people have purified the story of Christmas, so it wouldn't look as bad as it truly is, and thinking about that, he is totally right! Mary gave birth to Jesus in a stable. It was no place clean, someplace that didn't  smelled good, or even healthy. But that didn't stop the birth of Him. How amazing is that Jesus Christ, our savior, was born IN A STABLE, but yet, he did amazing things.

I've been really analyzing my thoughts on this story, and thinking about this makes me reflect on a movie. The movie is- To Save A Life. It is my ultimate, favorite movie. It explains the journey of two best friends. You see two boys raised together, one day while playing basketball a car swerved and was aiming for one of the boys and his friend jumped in front of him. He save his life while hurting himself, and he grew never to have the same life again. He had a limp, that made people make fun of him, and his "friend"- the one who's life he saved, doesn't talk to him anymore because he is too busy with sports and being the beer pong champion. It ends up, that the boy who risked his own life to save a friend, took his own life as well. This movie changed my life, because it didn't end there. The friend who watched as the boy who saved his life, shot himself in the head, learned to learn from his mistakes, and he made life changing decisions to help save lives. He began to love on all the "outsiders" at his high school, and ends up saving another persons life.

That boy, who looked at people a different way, who loves on people who aren't in his "clique", he is my mentor. I wish i could do the same. Because look at Jesus. Look at his birth environment, a DIRTY SMELLY STABLE FOR ANIMALS!! He was born in a horrible place, but people put that aside to love and praise him. why can't people do that now?  Why can't i walk through the hallways of my high school feeling like everyone gets along, that no matter what "clique" your in, you can still respect each other..... why not?

God is the only one with the answer to that. But i know that after watching that movie over a year ago, i have never been the same again.  Honestly, before watching the movie, i did not talk to anyone out of my comfort zone, i have a group of about 6 really good friends and that's how i liked it, and i never shared the word of God, but than i watched the movie, and that's when i changed everything in my life. I ignored the labels, the hair color, the piercings and instead i focused on showing them the love of Jesus Christ.

Today, i am packing my stuff and going to Jackson to go visit with my grandparents (my mom's side). I'm going to be spending about a week down there, but, I'm gonna be home for my birthday. It's gonna be a lot of fun,  I haven't been there in a while. They live on Lake Somerset, and i love walking across the lake, or going ice skating.  Since I'm going to be 16 in less than 2 weeks,  we are going out to buy my first purity ring :) Although I'm super excited, it definitely feels weird, not having my mom along with me, but where ever she is, what ever she is doing, i want her to know that i as well as Jesus Christ loves her, and i hope she is getting good use out of the Bible i sent her. AND..... i am looking forward to calling her tonight, to wish her a Merry Christmas :)

Happy Birthday Jesus, i know your over 2000 years old, but your still one of my best friends :)

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, and that they don't leave out the true meaning of Christmas.

A miracle that unraveled in Walmart :)

Wow. These past few days have gotten better from my last post. My grandma is still sick, but i haven't had to empty an buckets lately, and she is able to eat again. Last night, i finally got out of my house and went to my best friends birthday party, it was the most fun I've had in weeks. Being stuck at home during the school week, and then taking care of my grandma on the weekends,  i haven't been able to really hangout with my friends, but staying at John's house until 11:30 with all my friends, reminded me, that we all need breaks. And also, that i have some of the most amazing friends in the world. (:

Today, even though i was exhausted from being out all night, i got up around. 9:30 and left the house around 1030, and came home around 530. I honestly don't think i have been shopping this long, since summer. We went to partridge Creek (my fav. place ever!!) & Walmart I feel like I'm sharing my schedule, but i think it's because during those few hours, God surprised me, beyond all measures. You see, Christmas shopping is not my favorite thing to do, there's so many things to buy, and so many people who want to buy the same things as you. So i always wait until a few weeks before Christmas to get my shopping done.While in Walmart, my first priority was to get the supplies needed to send my "God" package to my mom. I had found a great NIV Bible, and i went to get some frames for the pictures my mom left behind. I then went to look for a card. It was really hard finding one for a mom, because they all say pretty much the same thing; I'm so blessed to have such an inspirational mom like you. I couldn't do it. I couldn't get a card, that wasn't true, because my mom isn't my inspiration. After reading a handful of cards, i gave up, i just started skimming them, it was tough looking at cards about moms, and i grew sort of sad, because it is the first Christmas i have spent with out her. But God, he knew what i wanted, He understood why i was thinking about her, and He surprised me, and made my day.

It wasn't much longer that i turned around expecting to go finish my shopping. When i turned around, i thought my heart skipped a beat. I was standing literally 20 feet away from my mother. I instantly felt like i was going to faint. I stood their for a few minutes, starring, wondering if she knew i was here. After about three minutes of being in shock, our eyes met. Her jaw dropped, and we instantly ran towards each other. I have never in my life, experienced something as amazing as those minutes, of going from sad, and thinking about the past, to being filled with happiness. I haven't hugged my mom in years, because whenever we saw each other, we wouldn't get along so hugging her was sorta awkward. We stood in the middle of the isle, hugging for what seemed forever. I didn't realize i was crying until i heard her crying too. To hear her voice on the phone, and to hear her voice in person; saying she missed me,  is so much different. I couldn't talk to her for long, but what i did talk to her, it was awesome. Last week, i did a blog on disappointment's and how God's always trying to mess up our plans to get our attention or to just tell us He has something better in mind.  Well, what happened today, is living breathing proof.  (:

So here it is again; God knows that sometimes we get distracted by our wants, and not paying enough to what He wants, so he messes up our plans!  But in most cases, he has something better in store.

I am so happy about today, it was AMAZING. Whenever I am in doubt about my faith, I want to remember today, and everything that happened. God has our backs no-matter-what :). So I'm about to finish this amazing day by watching a Christmas movie with my God-daughter, and cousin, and putting them to bed. I can't wait until i go to bed, because i have a lot to pray about tonight (;

A request of prayers ):

Today, the one solid person in my life, celebrated her 83rd birthday. The women who i am so blessed to call, grandma. I still can't believe that she has reached this age, throughout all the crap she has been put through. I love her soo much, and to watch bad things happen to her, breaks my heart.  Today, she when she woke up, she was feeling good, other than the fact the i accidentally spilled coffee on her. Later on when i came home she was doing good too, and then came her birthday dinner. She was feeling great! I was so happy to see that she had restored her hunger, because lately, she had not been eating well and it was starting to worry me. After dinner, she began to complain about how she hurt, but she decided to stay in the kitchen until my dad and nephew came over to join us for cake and ice cream. I knew she was hurting, so i gave her a pillow to lean against, but it turned out that her back was the least of my problems. After she ate, i got her to her room, layed her down and covered her up, thinking she would go to sleep for a little while. But i was 100% completely wrong. Due to the amount she had eaten that night, plus her medicine and wine that my aunt gave her for her back, her stomach decided to act up. I know some people may have weak stomachs so I'll say this softly, i had to empty A LOT of buckets today. To watch my grandma put her face in a bucket and to come back up with tears in her eye's and wanting to cry, makes my heart break. I hate to see people i care about it pain.  Please, anyone, WHOEVER is reading this, please pray for my grandma to get better. I have no idea what is initially wrong with her, but i am praying that it is only from the rich foods she ate. So please, if you are reading this, PLEASE, pray for her, because i feel hopeless, not being able to do anything, I know that if even a simple prayer is the only thing i can do, i will do it, and I'm hoping everyone else will to.

So here is my prayer for tonight, and yes i am literally praying will bogging (:  (I'm a good multi-tasker! ) Lol.
"Hey God,
Thank you for today, (well most of it)  I truly realized how blessed i am to have my grandma. She is simply amazing. Please, cure her of her sickness of her already frail body. Seeing her so weak makes me just want to cry- because she means so much to me. Please, be with her, because i need my grams, she's my everything<3  Be with Noah, as he is faced with daily struggles of a child with ADHD, be with Blake as he searches for the answers in his life. Lord, I'm asking you to pray for Sarah, because she needs your guidance when it comes to tests and studying, allow her to keep her focus and pay attention so she can get a good grade.  Be with my mom, because no matter what i tell myself, she is out there, she is still a being on this Earth, allow her to know you, to feel you, to love you. Be with Mrs. Robinson, as Friday, she travels home from Texas, allow her flight to go smoothly. I just ask, that who ever needs healing, help and prayers, will find me, so i can help them. Be with the people who I am forgetting to pray for, be with the family's of the twins boy who was killed by his mother. And most of all, be with my grams. She is the definition of a faithful person. Her daily acts reflect the arms and feet of you God. She has done so much good, and it is time, time for her to be pain free and enjoying some of the last great years and months she has left. Also, please help me not be dead tomorrow, being that it is 12:40 am, and i am just now attempting to go to bed, getting up in 3 hours to check on my grandma again. Thank you Jesus <3
Amen."

I miss this :P

Disappointments in life ):

If we really dig deep into why things don't happen the way we want them to, our answer includes God, more than we know it. Why does God make things difficult when they could be so easy? Why does God make things the way WE don't want them?  Does anyone ever truly think about that? Sometimes when we pray really really hard for something to happen, and it doesn't, we get upset. But why?  To me, when i have a disappointment in my life, it's just God letting me know i have something better in store (:    So, yeah i get things didn't always happen the way we want, but maybe we are so consumed with the thoughts of what we want, that God is trying to get out attention. For example, today i was expecting a great surprise. I had been praying about it for months, and i really  thought today was the day- but it wasn't. When i first realized that i "wasted" all my time praying for it, i felt horrible. I know that there was nothing i could do, so i went in the chapel awaiting Pastor Goche's message. It was like God had shut one door, for me to hear the sermon of the day, and realize why. He explained how sometimes we have so much going on that we can over think and hope for things which make us distance ourselves from God. Today, i woke up at 745 for church, i was the greeter today, so i opened the doors awaiting my prays to evolve, and as time went on and on and the service had started i realized my prayers weren't going to be answered today. I'm not upset, I'm not sad, I'm not even close to angry, I'm neutral. I'm disappointed, but i understand, I'm confused but i know the answer. Mostly I'm thinking about the next step in my life that God has in store for me. I may never get this prayer answered, but that's okay, because that's just God letting me know, it will never be :)