Today after school, instead of following the mad rush of teenagers going to see Breaking Dawn, i went to spend the day at my dad's. Although it started off really annoying because no-one was home..... and i didn't have my key, so i had to crawl through a window. (and if any of you really know me, you'll know that i am not the tallest person in the world, so yeahhh...it was challenging.) hahah, but i made it in, and then when i heard car doors shut i jumped behind the couch and when my nephew walked in i jumped out to scare him. I miss him so much, and every time i get to see him i feel blessed to have him. My favorite reaction is when he yells, "aunt Beth!!" It makes me feel so important in his life.
When i look at him, i see white, crystal like, because he is too young to understand the world. Too young, to feel the pain that the world inflicts on us, to young to hear the harsh words spoken daily. He is innocent, and that's what i admire of him. He doesn't see the world as a scary place, because all he knows is, just kid stuff. I wish i could view life like he does. I wish could wake up in the morning not to think about the struggles i have in life, but to look forward to those mornings cartoons.
I love my nephew so much, he's the cutest kid alive. He was born pre-mature when my sister was 16. He was born with gastrocesis, which is when all of his intestines were on the outside of his stomach, he was recently diagnosed with ADHD, but that's not stopping him, from being the amazing kid he is. He's going to have struggles, but we all do! He's going to make mistakes, but hopefully, he will learn from them. I know that he knows i love him, and i know that he loves me
Sometimes i think about the impact i am making in his life, am i doing enough? Am i putting forth all of my effort to make sure, that he is having the best life possible? Am i doing enough to make sure that he knows Christ's love? Am i doing enough to be the best aunt i can? I'm not sure, but I'm trying as hard as i can, and that's all that matters. At the age of two, i had him saying prayers with me on the phone when i would call him to tell him goodnight, when i would babysit him and put him to bed, i would tell him the story of Noah's Ark, (since his name is Noah). The little things i do on a daily bases, in front of him hopefully will impact him enough so he will understand that in order to live life, it should be with Christ.
Every night, he is included in my prayers. He means the world to me, when i see him and he comes running and throws his arms around my neck and says "I missed you aunt Beth", i feel like i am wanted in this world. When i see him laugh at silly things, or when he says the weirdest things that crack me up, i just stand in awe, at the precious gift God has given me. At four years old, he has stolen something from me, he has stolen my heart. He has taken my heart and with every four year old giggle, smile or tear, he has used it, and made me love him more and more.
Noah Aaron Michael Brendle, born on November 21st, 2007, at 4:21 pm. He weighed 5.4 lbs. and was 19 ¼ inches long. Now weighing 36lbs, and growing taller each day, he still fills me heart with joy. I'll always love my nephew, and i will always want the best for him.
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