Mothers Day.

I didn't think that mothers day would be an upsetting holiday this year- but re subject of mothers is still raw to my body.

The first thing I saw while on Facebook was all of these statuses about the most amazing moms. I felt left out, and it kinda sucked.  My mom and I don't have a close relationship, and we probably never will. I cant erase the pain she caused me, but I can and I have forgiven her. Which makes this day a little less harsh.

People say to celebrate mothers day for grandmothers as well. But that too- is hard. My grandma was the most amazing person in my life, and she will be truly missed.

So mothers day is a day that i definitely do not look forward too.  This day just feels- awkward. Everyone spending time with family- while I'm at home writing out thank you cards and finishing up homework, alone.

i miss having a mom in my life and even more- i miss having my grandma. My grandma was my number one fan, the person i would talk to at all times of the nights. My best friend, my spiritual leader. She was amazing.

One the back of the little cards they pass out at funerals- we had the serenity prayer.  It was comforting to me to see something so familiar.

So that's what i'm basing mothers day off of- the serenity prayer.


because i nor can anyone else can change the past.  We can only accept it and move on.

Happy mothers day grandma.  You were the most amazing woman i have ever been blessed enough to know. Your strength and courage will encourage me to do well for the rest of my life.  Rest in peace grandma, you deserve it.