Over the last week, I've changed two things about myself that the average person would say.... okay, no big deal. I got my ears pierced. I've had them pierced twice before, once when i was a baby and once when i was 11 but it didn't work out. I was at the mall the other day with my grandma and nephew Collin and as we walked out of Kohl's i saw a girl getting her ears pierced and i thought- why not? So i just said to my grandma- i want to get my ears pierced. She looked at me funny and said okay so i went and got it done. No big deal right?
Now my hair..... funny story. Not really, hahaha. I've always had what the hair lady called; "virgin hair" I've never put any form of die in, and even though i straighten my hair i use 2 different heat protectors preventing it from being hurt. But, on Friday, i got highlights. It just came out of nowhere but i was tired of the same thing every single day. So, i know have Carmel highlights.
The first time i reveled my changes to my best friends, they were shocked. I didn't see what the big deal was- it was just my ears and hair. I started thinking about it more.
Everyday i woke up with the same routine. I pretty much looked the same everyday of school. That means bumming it everyday in my world. I was so used to the new routine. Once i had done something different for once, it was like this weird high. I know i probably sound crazy right now, but in reality i've been doing the same, "good girl Christian" things everyday in and out. Not wanting to do anything that i might get looked down upon. So doing these little things gave me a feel for freedom and change.
I'm not saying i love having my ears pierced. It honestly drives me nuts in the morning when i still have my natural hair and my earrings get twisted up in them. And the highlights- well im not saying i hate them it's just different to what i'm used to so it's gonna take a little warming up to.
With freedom, comes responsibility. Something i've messed up a few times before.
When i was talking to my friend Sarah about the same thing, she got really concerned out of no where. If any of you know Sarah; she's a wild child- so her being the one concerned about me is a change. She was wondering what my next "change" would be. When i told her i wasn't sure, she started re-assuring that my changes wouldn't be something that could hurt my future. And they aren't and are never going to be.
I like change. I like the feeling of waking up differently for the first time in 8 months. And i'm thinking of other changes to make as well. No, they aren't going to be things that aren't appropriate- I still have my morals. don't believe in drinking before the age of 21 ( in my case ever), i don't believe in doing drugs, i don't believe in premarital sex, i don't believe in gauges and lip rings, i don't believe in swearing as a sport and i don't believe in rash decisions that can hurt other people. I do believe that change can be good, if used appropriately.
If i don't like my earrings, i can take them out and they will go back to normal, and eventually they highlights will grow out and my hair will be back to normal.... because the changes i'm making aren't permanent.
I don't really know why i wanted to blog about change tonight, i guess it's because of the conversations i've had with my friends about my recent changes. Don't get me wrong, its nice to know they care, but i just wish that they would understand change isn't permanent.
That brings me into the new year- I've never been SO glad for a year to be done more that 2012- honestly. This year had its moments.... good and bad. It was a crazy ride to say in the least..... As i type, it's 12:47 so technically Monday morning...... less than 24 hours until 2013. In less that 24 hours i will be officially 1 year away from my graduating year. That's CRAZY.
I'm optimistic that 2013 will be a much better year than this past one. Don't get me wrong, it will still have it's challenges..... but they hopefully won't be so painful.
I've spent the last week with my grandparents in Jackson, and my nephew Collin came along too. This week i've done a lot of searching. Searching for answers, clarity and hope. Beyond my expectations i had found some of what i've been searching for. I've spent a lot of the last week introducing traditions to my nephew... sledding down the hill down the street, getting up at 6 am to go on hikes with my grandpa, visiting the Ella Sharp Museum, and just getting in a car and driving down the old back roads looking for deer and fox. I got to experience that all again. To be honest, haven't gone sledding down the old hill in years, and most times when i come to my grandparents, i refuse to get up at 6 am because i'd rather sleep in. But it was different this visit- i remembered what it felt like to not have a worry of the world when you were at nana and papas house. Getting up at 6 am wasn't so hard after the first time, and it was worth it by seeing the smile on Collins face. Sitting out in the freezing cold watching Collin sled wasn't so bad, and spending time with the "old folks" was nice and something i felt as if i would remember for a while :)
Another thing i learned this trip, was patience. Patience with my grandma. Her Alzheimer's has gotten progressively worse. I had to learn that even if it was the 10th time in 5 minutes asking a question that i needed to act like it was the first time she asked it. It scares me to see her getting so bad, so quickly. It makes me really thankful for each day i get to spend with her though.
So later on today ( since it is now 1:36) i will be joining with my friends; Sarah, Nathen, Yvonne, Dwayne, Mike, Blake and Ian to bring in the new year.
Goodbye 2012..... Sadly, you won't be missed because im optimistic 2013 will bring the changes i need to feel better again. Happy New Years <3
No comments:
Post a Comment