Okay hold up. I've been filling out college, scholarship and grant applications all summer, and preparing myself for my senior year of high school. I'm already nervous enough for that. Now.... I'm being told the cold hard truth. Once I'm out of high school i really will be responsible for myself. And that's the scariest thing I've ever had to hear. It's not supposed to be this way. I should be allowed to rely on my parents until i actually feel like an adult and learn how to take responsibility of everything. Don't get me wrong, i know how to do a lot of things. While majority of my friends don't know how to do their own laundry, change a flat tire, file taxes, cook for themselves or do any practical things, i do know how. I begged my dad to teach me how to do my own laundry when i was 9 years old because my mom never separated the darks and whites and always put bleach in and i was sick of wearing clothes with bleach spots. So i learned, and same with mostly everything. But it's the things i take for granted that i never had to learn. One of those things- is paperwork. I fill out a lot of it all the time. Even though my dad's dead and i haven't spoken to my mom in 7 months, they still mail a bunch of paper work to fill out and send back almost every other month. It's annoying and i always dread it because it puts me in a bad mood. Half of the time, i fill out what i can, and for the things i don't know, my aunt fills it in. When i turn 18, I've already been told there was going to be a lot of paperwork. Let alone i have to file my own taxes, apply for FASFA with all that paperwork and the college paperwork itself.... I'm going to be brain dead.
I was always excited to turn 18 because that meant so many new things, but now part of me is dreading it because i have no idea what's going to hit me. I've been coasting through my life with being sorta organized. I never gave it much thought i just labeled binders and knew where things were. Now, I'm going to have to get as organized as possible. If i look around my room right now, i know where almost everything is; everything has a place and unless I'm using it- it's in that place. But i need to do more. So, i started with my college applications. I had a bunch of loose leaf sheets in a notebook and most all the documents i filled out were just in my email. I wanted to have something that i could just open up and look at all I've actually got done this summer. So, i bought a binder. I spent an entire night printing off all of the confirmation forms in my email one's saying that the college received my transcripts, act scores and even printed all of the applications themselves. I then made little sections with tabs and then organized it all into 6 sections for the 6 schools I'm applying for. I went on Exel and made a chart/checklist for what i had for each school and what i still needed to do. Now, I'm currently going through each school and writing down just things i should know like cost of room and board, tuition scholarships directly for that school and things like that. Everything is in here and i practically worship this thing. When Rylee came over last night and she wanted me to paint her nails the first thing i moved out of the way was the binder so it wouldn't get anything on it. I like to look through it too, because it shows how many things I've actually done since the middle of July.
Before i left my grandparents, i also started a binder for my scholarships. I've found that i should keep my essays in a safe place because majority of the time you can re-use your essay up to about 5 times. So i print all the essays, and on the back side write what scholarship it was used for and when the results should be emailed to me. Since I'll be working on the scholarships for a while, it's not done yet but i am really proud of it.
So hopefully i can start doing this with all the court papers my aunt just has sitting in an over stuffed manila envelope in her China cabinet. It's a big job.... but will be one of the many i need to start getting myself familiar.
The thought of really growing up is sorta freaking me out, because it's not like half of the coming of age stories we've read in English. There's not always a happy timeline. I don't know how to grow up really. I mean, that sounds silly but what does it even mean to be an adult? To pay all of your bills and have a job? Well, I'm over halfway there than. What about after i graduate college..... what happens then? It's all just really scary to me because i don't have parents to just rely on.
Before i started this blog i counted 6 rough draft blogs that i never finished. The last two months, I've been at my grandparents in Jackson Michigan. It was crazy. And i kept saying, i need to blog... but i would start one and get annoyed because i wanted to be outside so I'd go ahahaha. All together, it was an okay time and even though i came back home about 3 weeks early, I'm glad!
The main reason i came back early was because of the Big Time Rush Concert. My friend Nicole is like obsessed with most boy bands and singers. She went to the Justin Bieber concert and was just like on cloud 9 for several days after. We got the tickets at a surprisingly good price at DTE for really good seats and we got there super early. It was probably one of the best concerts I've gone too- besides Kari Jobe of course :) The best part was when two of the members of the band; Logan and Carlos came into the crowd and we were within 5 inches of them. Needless to say, we both lost our voices and had an adrenaline rush the whole drive home. We were driving down I-75 south with Big Time Rush Blaring and it was like midnight. It was one of the best nights I've had all summer. Concerts are just honestly so much fun; hence why we're going to see Austin Mahone on October 30th. I'm just really looking forward to it again! Not to mention we get to miss a day of school!
This summer has had it's ups and downs- but I'm at home now and i really like that. I get to see Rylee almost everyday which is one of the biggest things making me homesick while i was there. Speaking of her, she's sitting at my desk right now while I'm typing. Ever sense i got home she comes in my room and we just spend hours together. She missed me doing her makeup and painting her nails i guess since that's all she's asked me to do for the past few days! today instead she wanted to do my makeup- which i was leery about only because last time when she did it about 2 years ago she made my face look like makeup had exploded on it.I guess I've taught her pretty well because it actually stayed in the right places! And even though i was freaking out, i let her attempt to put mascara on and to my surprise a good half of it actually went on my eye lashes! Hahahhahah. She's now practicing her numbers for school. She's going into pre-school and she knows how to count to 30, she knows the whole alphabet and can write her name, her brothers name and my name. She's pretty darn smart. I love being with her again.
Other than that, summers been pretty sweet. The best part is when Ian came up to my grandparents- for sure!! I do though miss the 24/7 fishing i had at my grandparents though! All i had to do is walk out the back door and go. I learned a lot of new things too, and one time when i caught a medium size catfish, the neighbor came out and was looking at me and decided to come help me take the hook out because after many failed attempts i was getting annoyed. I haven't caught a catfish that big since my dad was alive and i was always too nervous to take the hook out of them because there antenna like things always shocked me. He showed me how and suggested to use fishing gloves just in case. So, i did learn a few things so that's good! :)
In one sense, i don't want to be back at school but i do miss it in other ways. On August 1st my friend Allison went on her power school to see if schedules came up and they were. But it was like 1 am, and by 5 am power school was "shut down for the summer". Only a hand full of people got their schedules and all hated them. But i really enjoyed mine this time! I'm just looking forward to having the classes i do!
I started the blog Monday, so yesterday and i was just in a weird mood because of the court thing, but today i spent all day with my friends and I'm just in a happy mood, so i guess that's why half of the things i wanted to talk about I'll wait for next week!
I think the rest of the summer is going to be amazing. When Ian came to my grandparents we talked about these weird activities we wanted to do... and they're actually happening. It's called the summer bucket list and we've had various activities since i got home and about 7 more in august that just sound crazy. Jello fight, shaving cream fight, midnight ultimate Frisbee, water wars, paint wars, air time trampoline and a picnic in the park are just naming a few :) I was really nervous because i never imagined that the turn out would be so good. We have 426 members in the group on face book and well over half are committed to the different activities. It's honestly the best time too, doing weird amazingly fun activities with random kids. And it also brings me back to my belief that you don't need drugs or alcohol to have fun. Because believe it or not, if you have a few things of jello and a bunch of random people it's one of the funniest things you'll ever do in your life. It's a little odd at first, but then nobody cares about anything.
I'm counting down the days to school, but also making each day last as long as possible. (:
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