My papa died over 9 years ago, and still to this day i miss him like crazy.
For those of you who really know me, you will understand it a lot more when i say this. I don't hate anything but one thing- the word Cancer. Cancer has made such an impact in my life. I have had so many deaths caused by it in my family, and it continues to grow.
My papa, was a pretty good man. He had some issues, but he was still my pa-pa and i loved him. When i was 6, he became very sick. the doctors were running all of these test, but they couldn't find out what was wrong. But the one thing they never checked him for was cancer. It came to the end of his illness when the finally diagnosed him with lung caner. But it was too late, the cancer had spread. It was spread from his lung, traveled up his spine, and was reaching his brain, so nothing would help him at that point. I remember how my dad, mom 2 of my sisters and i would travel from out home which at that time in my life was in Auburn Hills, and make our way to Marine City, to spend our last few months with our grandpa.
I remember my grandpa is so many different ways. We used to go to the state park and my sisters and i would dig through the big boulders to find frogs while he would sit there and watch the big ships go by, and when he would fish from before daylight to deep in the night.
He died June 27th 2002.
Now that I'm older, and i understand death more, i realize how much i truly do miss him. He never got to see me grow up, he missed a lot out of his life. Sometimes i wonder, why God was calling for him? Why did God take away my pa-pa when i was just getting to know him? I miss him a lot. I miss the time i spent with him.
That's why i say, i hate the word cancer. I have lost so many people in my life because of it. Lately i have been thinking about what i want to do when i am older, because i have started questioning if being a vet, was the right choice for me. I've started to look into oncology- which is the study of cancer. I'm not too sure yet, but i think it would be a really cool job to have.
I'm not going to say that i haven't seen people conquer cancer but very few- Mickey, Dorthy, grandpa Tye & Mrs. Robinson.
I love my family- i love my friends, and i never want to see another person in my family die of cancer. R.I.P- grandpa Jack, papa duck, aunt Marlise, Uncle Walter, Harry, Aunt Frita, Uncle, Heri, Dayne, Natalie, Stephanie, Sunny & Spunky (guinea pigs i had both died of bone cancer).
R.I.P grandpa Jack <3
Nothing I have experienced in my life prepared me for a diagnosis of cancer. I was a lucky one, of that I have no doubt. I had a very strong support structure, many friends and family that supported me and helped me (even if it was something as simple as a prayer). Many do not. Some days I felt as if my entire life came crashing to a halt, but ultimately it was that support that allowed me to believe in a day when I would be rid of the football-sized tumor that had grown in my chest. It took careful planning and knowledgeable individuals dedicated to the eradication of cancer, my cancer.
ReplyDeleteIt is always a personal journey. But, I made it a public journey because that was something I needed to do for myself and for my family and friends. My family and friends are very special to me. They have been there when I fell down, they helped me to get back up on my feet. They have also been there to celebrate my successes with me. They deserved full disclosure.
Everyone deals with cancer in their own way, especially those that are stricken. I know I went through the entire spectrum of emotions when I was in the ICU. I held on to those emotions that let me succeed. Seeing the support every day that I was in the hospital was a catalyst to me and it keeps me going, every minute of every day.