6 years ago today, my dad and mom walked down the isle. The said vows that meant nothing. They lied to each other and our family as they said i do at the end of the ceremony.
I remember the whole thing like it was yesterday. I was so happy to see my parents finally get married, because i was tired of being the "only" one without married parents.
It's a weird day considering that the divorce papers were final 2 weeks ago. And it's just an all around weird feeling.
So today, my brains kinda all over the place. I'll think about school or something and then my mind will lead back to the wedding. This is why i never want to get married and have kids. Because divorce..... it really sucks. What makes it even worse, is that my mom probably has no idea that it would've been their anniversary.
Speaking of my mom, i called her last night. Our conversation lasted literally 2 minutes and 45 seconds ( it said that on the phone). Which is even shorter because it had to ring and then my grandma answered so she had to call my mom who came downstairs then answered. It sucks to know that when i want to call her because she's on my mind, she doesn't want to talk, but when she wants to talk to me, i talk about everything in the world just to keep her on the line. I don't know, maybe just isn't in the mood to talk with me when i'm in the mood to talk to her.
I know my dad knows about today- he's never forgotten it. Right now, somethings going on with him that is really scarring me considering it is dealing with the second most needed organ in the body and he's not taking it serious. Yesterday, my dad called me and told me his pacemaker/defibrillator went off FOUR times...... and he wouldn't go to the hospital.
I know that God knows exactly whats going on, but i wish i did too, so i wouldn't be so worried.
I was reading through the book of Psalm last night and came across a verse that freaked me out a little.
Psalm 18:30- God's way is perfect. All the Lord's promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.
That verse freaks me out, because if God-forbid- something would happen to my dad, i truly don't know where he would go. I feel as if God is putting all this stuff with my dad here for a reason, because He wants me to help my dad find Him. I know if my dad found God, his life would turn around, i can't express what it would mean to me if my dad found God.
God's got everything under control. All i have to do is sit back and let everything fall into place.
Today's going to be an interesting day to say in the least, but i'm getting ready to go to church, which always makes everything better. (:
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