You never let go.

As many of you know, my dad has been in and out of the hospital the past month.   I've been very worried about him, but i am trusting in God, to make an end to these troubles.

Last night, around 10:14, we got a call.  A call that made my heart fall apart.  My dads defibrillator/pass-maker went off once again while he was sleeping at home, and he was on his way to the hospital in an ambulance.  That was the 5th time it's gone off in the past week.  I knew that it would be easier to just wait at home, so that's what i did.  I finally fell asleep around 1 am, and around 2:45 am, i got a call from my cousin- who went to the hospital with him.  The doctor told her, that if it wasn't for the difib going off, my dad would be dead right now.  One thing i love about my cousin, is that she never lies to me she tells me how it is, and even though i didn't want to hear it- i'm glad i know.

Last night, seemed like impossible to fall asleep, around 3 i went to wake my grandma up and let her know, that he was indeed staying over night.  We  talked until about 4, and then i went outside to sit under the stars and just think.  It was freezing cold so i didn't stay out long, instead i went upstairs to lay down.  When i was laying down i thought of a song that we've sang in church a million times before.  This song, is my ultimate  favorite song, ever!  It's called, You never let go, sang by Steller Kart.  I would recommend this song anyone- because it is the most amazing song i have ever heard!

Some of the opening lines are, And i will feel no evil,  For my God is with me, and if my God is with me, whom than shall i fear? 

That's so true!  I have God with me, so i don't need to fear evil, or anything.  God will take care of the situation, i just need to make sure i have given it all to him.  Well last night around 4:30 when i finally went to bed, i got on my knees and i just gave everything to Him.  He will take care of my dad and i.   This song, is playing through my head 24/7 right now.  It's so amazing!  Whoever is reading this- please, just listen to it.... it's amazing.   

Today i woke up and the first thing i did was call my dad in the hospital.  He;s at Mt. Clemens Regional again, this time in room 273- which is a step down from the ICU unit. I called him and talked for a while, and he told me that his doctors decided that he needs a heart catherization.  I know that he will be okay through it, because he's had so many done.  My grandma was really nervous, but then i reminded her that I've had a bladder catherization and if i can do it, he can too.  She's calm knowing that my cousin is heading to the hospital for the procedure.  Later on in the evening, Mrs. Robinson is taking me there.

I'm not sure, what the outcome of this horrible mess will be, but i KNOW, that god is right here with me, and i will accept what he has in store. Whether or not it crushes me, i will hold myself together, and just rely on him.

When my dad wakes up from the procedure, i will be right there holding his hand. I'm ready to face the challenges that the day may bring, and i know i can handle it, with a little bit of help from the people i love.

I'm posting the song that i was talking about below.  I'm dead serious when i say that this song is amazing. It's a song, like no other- that's why i call it my favorite.

Lord, i know it's hard to understand, but You will be with me through everything.... till the end.