As positive as possible.

An updated letter to my mom, one that she sadly will never read,

Dear mom,

Thank you. Thank you for finally giving me what i needed- freedom and time. Thank you for giving dad custody of me. It hurt at first knowing that you just gave me up, but I've accepted it as the best thing you've ever done for me. Thanks to you, i am stronger, wiser and a lot more peaceful. I may not be the daughter you want- and honestly i don't know what that is, but i am someone that i am proud to be. Who am i? Oh yeah, i forgot you don't know who i am. I am a christian, I am a teenager who screws up sometimes but knows that i have a lot of people who love me regardless, I am strong, I am a writer not a speaker. I am a dreamer, a believer. I am God's child.  I am someone who loves animals so much that i would give up eating them. I am according to Jesus, someone worth dying for. I am someone who is lost, but will be found once again by God. I am Me- Elizabeth Rose Marie Brendle. That's all I'll ever be- no one else.. I'm sorry if i haven't lived up to your expectations, I'm sorry i haven't been the nicest to you at times and I'm sorry i chose not to live with you.  My life may have been nasty- but i want to thank you for it. Without you i wouldn't be here. I've learned so much from you. I've learned NEVER to smoke, because i will smell like an ashtray and wont be able to run more than 5 feet. I've learned and chose to be 100% alcohol free ALL of my life regardless of my age, I've learned not to have kids- to adopt so they have no chance of getting the mental illnesses that run through our family. I've learned a lot of things from you. I'm going to miss you, but just like you i will get over it. I love you, and maybe one day we will become friends again.
Love, your long gone daughter.

I do miss my mom, and i did learn a lot from her. Hopefully she knows i don't hate her, nor am i angry with her. I am sad that she has chosen a life without me, and i honestly wish the people she is living with now the best. I will pray for her all my life, Goodbye mom- have a nice life.